Eventually it was time to move on and I was willingly transferred to company E. I would have to break in a few new informants and get the new show on the road. That didn’t take long and by now I had more information about the military system than most lifers. A lifer is a career soldier. They need to be told what to do and can not make it in the real world. They would wait in line for hours to get something straightened out and I had no problem taking care of these inconvenient matters myself. That “hurry up and wait” mentality never sat well with me.
The Army is trying the same old shit here at company E. Wake up at 5:00 am, formation and roll call at 6 am, exercises for a half an hour, 20 minuets for chow and then marching to school in formation. You know left right left marching and mumbling some crappy jingo to keep in step. What a drag it is being a conformist. First day of this and already I am being harassed because I am wearing my sun glasses. You know I am being “Mr. Cool”. Next day I am wearing Government Issue prescription sun glasses and carrying the prescription in my pocket. Sergeant Majors fault for asking me if I had a prescription for them. It was nice of him to tell me how that luxury works.
I got my shit together and in no time at all I am off the roll call list, driving to school in my POV and making lots of new friends. I was always careful not to divulge my secrets or how I was getting things done. I always tried to keep a low profile and attract as little attention as possible.
I had become well adapted to the riggers of army life. My specialty was bartering. I had a knack for trading my services for the services of another. No money changed hands, no paperwork was involved and everyone had something to gain. But the way paperwork was a big deal in the army as it had to be approved, inspected by 3 departments and 6 copies had to be circulated. Just the word paperwork made some of these guys cringe.
Officers that could be coerced were hard to fine but not impossible. Normally they had way too much to lose to get involved with my antics. Their was however an exception to that rule. Through the personnel files I could find officers that were drafted. If the army needed doctors, lawyers, dentists, or other educated personnel, well they just drafted them. It shouldn’t take to much imagination to understand why these guys were unhappy campers. Some were losing their clientele, business and patients. Not to mention a great deal of money. The army wasn’t paying much at that time. And worst of all they were not immune to a Vietnam tour and were sweating it out just like me.
My electronic and auto mechanic skills were coming in handy. I used a combination of talents to parlay my endeavors. The motor pool liked my ability to get them the tools they needed from supply, the supply sergeant liked having his car tuned up buy me at the motor pool. A disgruntled JAG officer liked having his tape player installed in his car. In the dental office there were only two enlisted men. They worked in an obscure little building behind the dental office. These two guys were making plaster molds and doing some of the dental bridge work. They lived a good life and enjoyed many of the privileges of their officer coworkers. These guys were the weak link and inadvertently allowed my infiltration into the dental office supplies I wanted.
By the 6th week of school I had connections in JAG, supply, finance, personnel, motor pool and the dental office. What more could I ask for? How about teachers pet? This staff sergeant was like no other. Due to retiring after this class he was nice as can be. That is very unusual for a lifer. I was a tutor to other students improving their grades and making the sergeant look good. I aced the correspondence course and had all the answers. The other students were my servants and flocked to me for their tutoring on Wednesday nights. The tests were always on Thursday so that worked out well.
By the 7th week I was in charge of my destiny for the remaining 4 plus months. I had appointments for Monday Wednesday and Friday for the rest of my electronics training as a 33B20. That meant four day weekends and Wednesdays to recuperate.
I took the liberty of getting myself issued a second supply of everything. I kept a phony arrangement of all my supplies in the barracks for inspection. This was a requirement for my disappearing act. Never worn spit shined boots, a perfectly arranged wall locker, a foot locker with polished brass hinges and for the cot, which I never used, I had the blankets held tight with bungee cords underneath for that perfect inspection look. They would check the job by flipping a coin on the blanket and if it did not bounce they would tear the cot apart and yell at everyone.
I always had some excuse why I was not around for inspections. I had my friends in the barracks change my phony appointment slips regularly. One phony appointment slip was displayed on my cot as part of my phony arrangement. I never did experience a GI inspection. The General is not out and about every day. A few guys were unhappy about my non participation in the barracks cleaning details but after all I wasn’t there to contribute to the mess. Anyhow I treated them and any other assorted complainers to a variety of favors and gifts to keep every thing running smoothly.
This was not all fun and games. Occasionally some of my combatants needed to be taught a lesson or needed a reason to need my services. I could arrange for your pay voucher to disappear and you would not get paid until next month. Of course I am willing to loan you some money. Or I could have you waiting in lines fore the next month trying to get your records straightened out.
I still ask myself “can this be real?” I am amazed as to how bold I had become in so short a time. The army was encouraging me to be the best I could be and the rewards were plentiful. The women’s complex, the swim club, tennis courts, the golf coarse, toboggan hill, the USO club and the correspondence schools all on Fort Devins Military Base for my creative enjoyment.
The women's complex as I called it was a restricted area. All its amenities were off limits for mortal men. The only way in there was by being escorted by one of its inhabitants. Most of the base personnel did not know of its existence. I met my first ticket into the complex at the PX. That is the military Wall Mart type of store. I offered to help with a large box that she was struggling with. The box contained a vacuum cleaner with some assembly required. I offered to be of further assistance and at that the kingdom of luxurious accommodations lay before me.
This woman was not particularly attractive but through her I made some prize acquaints. The woman's complex was military civilian homes for the wives of the men who were off in the jungles of Vietnam. We enjoyed the indoor pool, spas and assorted luxury accommodations. The down side for these women is that the year was 1968 and we were at the peak of the war. BBC was broadcasting the odds for a safe return from Vietnam and the news was all about the war. I served my country well and was willing to help in any way I could. I entertained the women and took their minds away from their terrible situation.
My time for this task was usually limited to Wednesdays. As large as the base was I always felt it cramped my style. I had the girls from town to contend with and sometimes that meant I had to sneak them on and off the base. The USO club benefited from my endeavors and the attendance at the club improved considerably. The girls loved the attention, and a good time was had by all. I was only to glad to be of assistance.
Some of my friends lived in the Carolina, Florida and California. There was no way for them to go home for the weekend and they were being deprived of that luxury. I made some "appointments" for them and supplied them with a 5 or 6 day weekend so they could go home. I enjoyed helping out my friends.
My reputation spun out of control. I had no idea that I was known throughout the base. I was an inspiration to most, hope to many, envied by a few and an embarrassment to the Company Commanders. Unable to control me the Company Commander planted a rat in my barracks. He was there to spy on me and set me up for the kill.
This was my last 3 weeks at Fort Devins and I was being harassed. As luck would have it I had the company clerk in my pocket. I knew long ago that he would be a valuable asset. I always kept his interests in mind. I always needed to know what was going on. There is no one more informed than the company clerk. This is the first time I am in formation over the last 2 months. The rat reported my absence from the roll call roster and the plan was to put me back on the roster the next morning. The idea being, that in my absence, they could expose me in front the whole company, make an example of what could happen to a nonconformist, and be done with me once and for all.
If not for the company clerk I would be one sorry assed soldier. So eager and confident was the Commanding Officer, to have his day of victory that he started his retaliation speech right off. The wording and punch line required a silence after my name was announced at the roll call. He did not mention my name in his retaliation speech and announced that I would be revealed in a moment of silence. So humiliated was the Company Commander when I reported "here" that he just walked away immediately after the roll call and had not a words to say.
I had only 2 weeks left and I was out of the Company and on leave. The Commanding Officer was determined to make an example of me before I left. The rat was unable to furnish information to that end but he did foil a pair of 5 day weekends I set up for my 2 friends in Florida. I am usually nonviolent but I took a disliking to this rat. I just learned that my buddy was in trouble when the rat came up the stares. In a moment of face to face anger I cold cocked this mother as he came up the stairway and sent him off to the hospital where he stayed till I was gone. 3 days before I left Fort Devins I was court marshaled, received an article 15 and lost one pay grade from E3 back to E2. Seems like just yesterday I came to Fort Devens. My how time flies when you are having fun. My education is completed and I am officially a 33B20. I will be receiving orders soon and be embarking on a new military experience.
I found it difficult to say goodbye to all my friends. At this point I find it necessary to clear up a few things. Living, spending the night with, sleeping with, escorting, entertaining and being of service to the women, in no way includes the old in and out with. As hard as it was and with all that was at my finger tips, I was married and resisted the offers of pleasures. It was thought the fear of God and that I would actually be spending an eternity in the fires of hell that held me back.
Orders finally came and it was off to California for me. Two Rock Ranch was the name of the Army base and that sounded good to me. I had worn out my commanders welcome here and yet there were plenty of fond memories to reflect on. Jim Raab
http://jimraab.blogspot.com/
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